Last week, while I was laying in bed feeling not particularly energetic , I looked at Carsten and said: I feel Lucky! And while he had reasons to question me, or so I thought, he looked back at me and said: Yes, we are very lucky. With unspoken words , we knew exactly what we were talking about.
I feel LUCKY because I was diagnosed in 2007 and I know how much progress in medicine/technology/cancer research has been made in the past decade. I know that many people before me were not lucky to receive a top of the line treatment and drugs that can assist with the side effects.
I feel LUCKY that at 34 and very healthy, I have been able to avoid most dreaded side effects of treatment and that I was able to look cancer in the eye and say: Come get me! , I know that many people who were either older or in poor health had and have a much tougher battle.
I feel LUCKY that Leonardo is only 3 and although at first it scared me that if I were to go he wouldn't have any memories of me... now I know that I will be around and my disease will not define him or frighten him... One day I will tell him about my battle . I know that many mothers with older children have to answer many questions and look in the eye of a child that might be frighten to loose his/her mother.
I feel LUCKY that my dysfunctional, hysterical, non-conventional family has come together as an army in this time of adversity.
I feel LUCKY that my many , many friends, specially the ones closest to me have allowed me to deal with my illness and pushing me back when I tried to push away. They know me well and know that I need to deal with things on my own terms but I knew that they were right there, for whenever/whatever I needed and were not going to let me go.
I feel LUCKY that 9 years ago, I looked at "the German guy from work" and asked him to help me with buying a bike.... my life was never the same and I truly believe that my bond with Carsten is even stronger than before, he is my rock, and I am so lucky that I have him to kick me in the butt but also hold me tight at night when fears come running..... I am also so lucky that due to past hard work and discipline I have been able to have a choice to stay home and take care of my health ... and just wait to get better .... And I feel so very LUCKY because I know I will!
So.. I am sure you all have something that you feel truly lucky for... Go on and share!